After you get past the crazy toilet paper hoarding, the coronavirus is perhaps making better people out of most of us. In a mustering of individual and collective unity on a scale that many alive have never seen before, Americans and others across the world are metaphorically joining our washed hands in an amazing communitarian
READ MORECoronavirus Interconnectivity
For the third time, I’m deleting what I’ve written about coronavirus and starting over. By now, if you don’t know the basics of how and why many of us initially downplayed the risk and associated hype, what we’ve come to understand about the dangers that are far beyond individual patients getting sick or even possibly
READ MOREGod Deeply Loves Dust
Ash Wednesday wasn’t part of the faith tradition of my upbringing, and I was a married adult before I was introduced to the sacred ritual of having ashes imposed on my forehead on the Wednesday that marks the beginning of Lent. I had grown to love the symbolism of a liturgical church, and the ashes
READ MOREWill You Be My Valentine?
In contrast to the messages from florists, greeting card companies, and candy manufacturers, Valentine’s Day is a landmine for most people who are connected to Bethesda Workshops. The pain of betrayal experienced by partners of sex and love addicts is amplified by the saccharine atmosphere that supposedly portrays “true love.” Expectations for the day are
READ MOREFear or Courage?
Since early in my recovery journey, which started in 1991, I was certain of God’s call to tell my story, and I’ve shared about my experiences as an abandoned child, sexual trauma survivor, and sex and love addict hundreds of times in various media, including on Dateline in 2004. I’ve consistently received grace, support, and
READ MOREBe the One
The family room floor is stacked with boxes of packed Christmas decorations, which spill into the garage where they wait to be hauled into the attic. For the first time in memory, I’m sad to see the festive trappings gone. Normally, I’m so done with the craziness and exhaustion of the season that December 26th
READ MORELife Support
The two women walking in front of me on the lake trail caught my attention. It was extremely warm for late December in Middle Tennessee, and this easy, flat path was crowded on the day after Christmas. These two, though, stood out as they walked slowly 50 yards in front of me. The older woman,
READ MOREA Very Personal and Extravagant God
Many years of spiritual direction, which for me is like Jesus-oriented experiential therapy, has radically changed my connection with God. I’ve regularly come to see, hear, feel, and experience the presence of a very personal and extravagant God. These encounters have strengthened and deepened this year as a tender Mama God has shown up for
READ MOREThanks for the Memories
Thanksgiving this year is marked by significant family milestones for my brothers and me. Our mother died 60 years ago this month, which is hard to realize. It’s harder still to imagine what our lives would have been like if she had lived. How can you possibly quantify what might have been? My oldest brother
READ MORESacred Texts
I saw a story recently on Facebook about a young woman from Arkansas, age 23, whose dad died four years ago. Every day since his passing, Chastity Patterson has texted his number to share about her day. She said it made her feel closer to him and she hoped somehow he was receiving her messages.
READ MORESinging On
Music has always been important to me, but I’ve only recently connected with Spotify. In the garden at Bethesda or at home I stream music through a Bluetooth speaker a friend gave me (another novelty), and I wonder how I ever lived without music at my ear tips. I walk every morning with earbuds and
READ MOREOn Grief, Gratitude and Consolation
How do you measure the impact of a relationship? We have words that characterize various forms—like parent, child, spouse, colleague, or friend—but some connections defy and transcend easy descriptions. Some associations are too complex; some bonds are too profound, even mysterious. Dr. Mark Laaser, who went Home September 27, 2019, was that undefinable person in
READ MOREClimbing a Mountain
Many people have a “bucket list” of significant things they want to do before they die, but I’ve never made one or even given it much thought (other than a long-held desire to be a guest on Oprah, which is clearly unrealistic). At the same time, I’m intrigued by others’ bucket-list adventures. Before the start
READ MOREMore Frightening than Lions, Tigers and Bears!
Certain phobias are widespread it seems, like the fear of public speaking or of flying. I happen to love both, and judgmentally I can’t understand those who find either activity frightening. But since childhood, I’ve had an equally common deathly fear, and I do everything in my power to avoid any contact with its source,
READ MOREThe Little Things
Being present in the moment is one of the most precious gifts of recovery. Before God coaxed me into a healing journey, I spent my life spaced out, fantasizing, or obsessing. Shame-fueled dissociation made me oblivious to the world around me. Early recovery, now nearly three decades ago, involved its own obsession with the healing
READ MOREFifty Years Toward Forever
What stands out most in my memory is the heat – oppressive, stifling, nauseating heat that took your breath when you ventured outside in suburban Chicago. Next, I remember that a bridesmaid was sobbing in the un-air conditioned van on the way to the church, and the bride was patiently redoing the distraught girl’s hair.
READ MOREThank a Teacher
My father was a life-long educator, and I grew up on a college campus where he served for years as academic dean in the days when one person was responsible for all the various areas of collegiate academics. The institution began serving students in kindergarten and went through college, and my brothers and I were
READ MOREHealing Connections
At Bethesda Workshops, we routinely say, “No one can recover alone.” We encourage workshop participants to develop a safe community for support and fellowship as much as for accountability. We believe God created us for relationship, and healthy connection is central to well-being. Connection is also a core value for the ministry itself and among
READ MORETend to Your Foundation
The summer after Bethesda Workshops moved into our building, we noticed water seeping in across the back wall of the eating area, originally a long warehouse, where the wall met the floor. Investigation determined the drainage ditch behind the building needed clearing out, and our angel investor had someone do that for us. Grateful, we
READ MOREHonoring the Heart
From a plain wooden bench at the top of Ganier Ridge, a popular and challenging hiking trail, I examined a rock that I chose from the Heart Tree collection about a third of the way up the steep ascent. Several weeks ago, I first selected a rock when a friend shared about the tree, which
READ MOREAll the Moms
Retailers estimate over $20 billion will be spent honoring mothers this year in the US alone, which translates into a lot of cards, flowers, jewelry, and personal services like spa trips and pedicures. On this special day, I honor my mother, Dorothy Anne Discher Craig (whom my father nicknamed “Dottie”), and two other amazing moms
READ MOREMore Than a Garden
Life is full of meaningful symbols. Some are universal among a group of people like the cross for Christians or the star that shone above a Bethlehem stable. Others are unique to individuals like a piece of jewelry or some memento of an event that has meaning far beyond the object itself. Occasionally, a place
READ MORESorrows Too Deep for Words
Within a two-week period, three families in my circle have been devastated by an untimely death. A young couple lost an infant son who died two days after birth. A family and huge extended group lost a pillar in the recovery community who was felled by a brain bleed in middle age. A healer lost
READ MOREA Favorite Simple Thing
Life for me has always felt complicated. It’s not just my byzantine history or the complexity of various current situations. I work daily with people whose lives have been upended with the complex challenges of trauma and addiction. Their path to untangle that knot is as thorny as the road that led to the crisis.
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